March On

Modern technology is pretty tough to ignore.  When you have a facebook account that can remind you what you were doing this time last year AND this time in 2011 it is a true reminder that time marches on.

I joined facebook in 2008.  My mama was diagnosed with cancer in September, 2010.   Today, Facebook is reminding me that for almost every day from September, 2011 until September 9, 2013 I posted a special song from youtube for my mama.  It always put a smile on her face and gave her something to look forward to each morning.  If that wasn’t enough, my cousin, Dawn Robinson Terry, started posting a song for ME each and every day.  If became a tradition and I equally looked forward to what my song would be.  I don’t miss my mama being sick.  I miss our traditions, I miss her funny comments on my ridiculous posts.  I miss my boys celebrating their birthdays with her.  I miss her unconditional love and support.  I miss my cousin.  Who would have known that she would be joining my mama in such a short period of time?

If anyone had told me in 2011 where I would be today, I would have thought you were crazy.  However, I am a firm believer of this.  Time marches on and you can march with it or get left behind.  People are human and can be amazingly caring; but, honestly, they all have their own lives and their own shit to deal with.  At the end of the day, like it or not, people don’t have the empathy to care about what happened to you 5 years ago.  If you are lucky, you may get to milk it for a couple of years.  That’s one of the hard things about being human.  It also is what allows us to be able to carry on when bad things happen….Because our mind shifts (or heals) over time.

I would love nothing more than to sit down with my mama and show her my new life.  I am sure she had an inkling that it was going to change in a big way.   I would love to know what the hell she thought when Dawn knocked on the gates of Heaven almost two months ago.   I’m quite positive that’s  why my 44 year old cousin hung on for several days.  She shows up at God’s gates and my mama, cousins, grandparents ordered her back down to earth.  In the end, God’s wishes prevailed.   Like it or not, I truly believe that God really screwed that one up.

Nonetheless, the sun sets and the moon rises each and every day.  Time stops for no one.  Take the time to have your pity party, bask in the memories even if they are bittersweet.  Remember who and what made them special, then stand up straight and march on.  Video compliments of Dawn Robinson Terry, circa 2011.

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