I think I am a little too old to be experiencing sleep deprivation from my children. My oldest is (cough) 23 and my youngest is 14. 9 years between the oldest and the youngest child equates to over a decade of less than ideal REM patterns.
Besides, I was much younger then, 20-low 30s. I bounced back better. Not compared to my early 20s, but it is what it is.
Fast forward to last night. The 4:00 am wake up call. They weren’t stoned, high or intoxicated. THAT’s GREAT. Yes, they (#2 son and GF) were quiet, but they were WAAYYYY past curfew and the dog alarms went off. The whole house (with the exception of #2 son and GF) was up for the next 90 minutes.
I liken this morning’s events to the last few weeks of pregnancy. I loved being pregnant (I also love having my son living at home). I was terrified of HAVING the child (I am going to miss him like crazy when he is on his own). God planned it well when you stopped caring HOW the baby was going to come into the world (God planned it well when you are awaken at 4:00 am, up for 90 minutes and wondered HOW MUCH longer before goes out into the world).
I’m not going to lie. He will board a plane tonight. I will fear air collision, terrorist threats, muggings. Is he wearing clean underwear, does he have enough money, what if he gets lost? Is he being polite? To ensure his politeness, I believe I have convinced him that ill-behaved foreigners in Japan are flogged. They are flogged and then their feet are bound and they are forced to hobble beaten and broken footed back through the Japanese airport humiliatingly sent home. #2 son stated that they “only did that in China”. I told him China lied. He will return home safely (Thank You, Jesus) in 4 weeks and then casually pack up all of his personal belongings and HAUL ASS down to the City of Santa Cruz screaming “I’m Free, I’m Free!”. I will be left here, with one more chick in the nest and will probably sob for days like I did when #1 son left.
For now, God knows what he is doing. I have had to re-type my blog because when I’m sleep deprived I am literally rummy. I’m hungry, I’m cranky. I drop things. I don’t speak correctly. I am (she said convincingly) ready to let him leave the nest. If that wasn’t enough, seeing them sleeping peacefully, sans clothes, at 8:00 am when I gently opened the door for their wake-up call, I am now convinced.
Well played, God, Well Played.
p.s. He can always come home to visit. He is always welcome. We’ll leave the light on, Love you, #2 son. Mama.